“The people who live in a golden age usually go around
complaining how yellow everything looks.” 

Randall Jarrell

A thirty-four year old history professor, Dr. Yarrow, comes to Dr. Robert’s office for a general exam, not commenting on the fact that his skin is a bright yellow color.  Initially expecting the professor to have a serious liver problem, Dr. Roberts then correctly deduces, by observing his sclerae (the whites of the man’s eyes), that he has a dietary issue instead.  After a cat-and-mouse guessing game enforced by the patient, our doctor finally discovers the etiology of the patient’s unique color: he eats forty-eight heads of iceberg lettuce per week.

A doctor-patient power struggle ensues, with Dr. Roberts attempting to persuade the patient he has a serious problem. The patient, rather charmed with the color of his own skin, begs to differ.  Finally, a psychiatrist is brought in as a tiebreaker, and determines the patient to be of sound mind, with more than just a moderate preference for iceberg lettuce.

In a parallel and interwoven story, we meet two of the office staff, Cynthia, the office nurse, and Jean Marie, a new secretary on her first day of work.  Mark and Cynthia are providing Jean Marie with a highly amusing initiation to the office involving a soft drink, a urine sample cup, and the theme of “yellow.” 

Dr. Roberts muses on his power struggle with the yellow professor, and also realizes the futility of “being right” about what is best for others, particularly when unsure what is best for one’s self.